On October fifth though the seventh, I went on a church retreat for the second time in my life. It was a gigantic transformation in my life because I had not attended church in around seven years, and I planned on continuing down that unreligious path in college. However, I guess it was time for me to step back into the church. I got a call from my grandfather (Poppy) who asked me if I could try going to church again. I pondered it, but I did not know how I would find a church. Then, around the same time, my roommate and I found a poster about a bonfire with a Christian group. I did not think too much about it, but I thought the bonfire would be interesting, so I went and ended up really liking it.
We drove up to Big Bear for the retreat and we played games, sang songs, took photos, and climbed boulders. I've always had a fear of falling, but I wanted to try climbing up the tallest boulder in the Big Bear park. I was a scaredy-cat, but everyone gave me encouragement, so in the end I climbed up the boulder, legs shaking and all. I remember saying, "My right foot is slipping, I don't know if I can do it!" but everyone told me to reach out for their hands. I was scared, but I did it anyways. Pushing through the fear was worth the view. I could see the rolling hills and clouds circle around them. The icy wind would lightly brush through my hair but I was warm in the layers of clothes I wore. And I just sat there and realized that you can't do life alone, it just does not make sense.
As I got down, my friends guided me again and I made it down safely. It was a thrilling experience climbing up all the boulders--I felt like I was on top of the world. I felt proud that my faith in my friends was bigger than my fear of falling.
As my birthday passes and I turn nineteen, I have become extremely grateful for the friends I've surrounded myself with and the family and friends I had to go away from as well. I cherish the moments I have with my family and friends and push through my fear to experience life. I think that's what we have to do in everything. In pursing our passions (like photography!), in school, and in the relationships that we have with others. Believe in yourself and have faith in others to give you a helping hand when you need it. The best people will always lift you up (literally in my case, I grabbed onto my friend's arm and he pulled me up to the boulder) and grow alongside you.
On the retreat we worshipped God, but we also built a community of family, which I think I also needed. It was no coincidence meeting my new friends. I believe they were put in my path for me to grow. They made my birthday week really special and it reminded me that no matter what, you are never alone. So if you are in college--or anywhere really--and you feel alone, reach out to someone and I'm positive that someone will reach back. If you are scared of trying that new hobby, or if you fear that you are not good enough to do something or to be someone, it is okay to reach out for help. You do not have to do life alone. You cannot get rid of fear, but you can refuse to be reduced by it.
xx,
Gabriella